Darkness

Dark feelings are so much harder to chase away than good ones. It takes effort to shine the light that makes the shadows flee. The darkness cannot abide in the light, but it takes no effort whatsoever for darkness to exist, it's the inevitable whenever the light goes out. Sometimes it feels like I don't know how to make the light come back, so the darkness rises up and drowns me. I can't keep living like this. I need sustaining peace, but I don't know what else to do to find it. Memory is cruel. It's so easy to associate everything around me with the pain I feel. I hate the people that surround me, going on with their lives. Cruel Irony? The only two people I've talked to about this pain are the source of it. One of those people I love more than life itself. By one way of reasoning I should hate the other to that same degree, but that is strangely not the case. Reason? I know it's not his fault. I know it's not her fault either, and in any case They couldn't have known the future. Part of me screams that they should have, they knew that what they had couldn't last, but they were blinded, and I keep telling myself I should be able to understand that. Love. Life's greatest joy, Life's greatest pain. I guess that's the point of it all, isn't it? To be cut so deep you feel it echo through your soul, and then hope like hell that Love will find a way to heal a wound that's impossibly deep. How we all suffer. At this point reason says I should have peace. What's then was then, and what's now is now. My present should be full of joy, I have nothing to be hurting about. So why does it hurt?